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When Your Birth Plan Falls Apart

When your Birth Plan falls Apart

The birth of my second child should have been smooth, right? I had already given birth to my son years prior with a natural delivery and was fully prepared for the second. Well, here is what happens when your birth plan falls apart.

I started having contractions in late March 2015 that were regular. Working all day while having contractions is fun by the way on top of the half mile walk from my parking spot to work. < insert sarcastic tone for a bit but the half mile walk into work, that’s real> My fellow coworkers would joke that I would have to call the office and someone would have to grab the car to get me to the hospital so I didn’t deliver in the middle of a Cincinnati street. Although, that would be a great story to tell. Not something I wish to experience. I’m pretty sure my coworkers were only half joking about it all… the plan was in place. Although I worked in a hospital, the VA is not a place to deliver a baby. I even asked my work for a temporary parking spot that was closer at the police station inside the hospital where parking situations are resolved and they laughed and laughed and said no.


When your Birth Plan falls Apart


Finally, I go to the doctor and they put on my weekly check up schedule. We are almost there. I can see the finish line. I can eat spicy food without killer heartburn and will be walking without waddling in no time!

Let us fast forward one month later and 2 weeks past my due date. I have had it! That is enough. I cannot be pregnant one more day. I demanded Petocin to help speed along delivery. Get this baby out of me now! So we set up a date to be induced. Clear skies ahead my friends, everything is going to be alright. Clear skies ahead.

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23 hours of Petocin, 3 doctors attempting to break my water (like seriously, just get in there and get it done), 1,000 laps around the hospital, no food consumption order on me, and this baby ain’t moving!

I had a plan. A plan of natural birth. Give me 12 hours of labor hell, a couple stitches in the unmentionable area and let me go home. My first child was this way so why wouldn’t my second? Well baby #2 (A.K.A. “bean”, “mini”,”Caitlin”)  had other plans.

The doctor came in to talk to me April 23, 2015 … doctor # 3 since we had been there for so long already and my doctor was obviously not on rotation anymore. To sum up that discussion. We were doing a C-section…  immediately. The baby isn’t dropping, something is not right, the OR is being prepped.

SON of a _______!

I didn’t plan for a C-section. I do not have what I need for them to split me open and staple me shut. I need to mentally prepare for this sort of thing. Plus, this fear of having a ginormous scar over my belly and never wearing a two piece bikini ever again. I love my bikinis. I love them. I need a moment to comprehend this. And then, contraction pain again.

I will take the C-section. Thank you.


When your Birth Plan falls Apart


I worked in an operating room. Being a patient in the operating room is a completely different ordeal. The staff is trying to push everything along and get things done and I’m wondering about that pile of towels in the corner and if they are sanitized and want confirmation everyone scrubbed in properly. I’m a mess.

I get myself and the massive belly up on the surgical bed and get ready for the anesthesiologist to stick the needle in my spine. New questions arise with this, of course. Is this person qualified to stick a needle in my spine? It is my spine. Sort of an important part of my body. I need documentation and references. If it’s a resident, I may have an anxiety attack right here, right now. I shut my inner voice the heck up and did as told.

Speaking of anxiety attack. Start full on panic attack now! I cannot feel my legs. At all. I cannot move my legs. I’m pretty certain they are still there but not 100 percent. I am a control freak and I cannot feel my dang legs. One of the nurses told me to calm down and just breath into the mask with oxygen. Just kidding, it wasn’t oxygen. They were knocking my anxiety induced pain in the butt out. Next 20 minutes I do not recall. Caitlin is out of the belly however and everything is alright-ish. I can see my legs… can’t feel them.


When your Birth Plan falls Apart


I did not prep for a C-section. It was not even in my head as a possibility. Caitlin had managed to get her neck wrapped around the umbilical cord twice so she was not coming out on her own and we are fortunate there were no serious complications. She was not even stressed by the situation. Not even a spike in heart rate. My body wanted that baby out but she was just hanging out with this thing wrapped around her waiting for someone to help. Oh boy, she has not changed a bit.

You may have a birth plan that is precise and prepared but plan for all the possible situations. Pack the hospital bag ahead of time to accommodate natural birth, C-section, extra inpatient days, emergencies and other outcomes for when your birth plan falls apart.

Check out How To Recover From a Cesarean Section Faster and make sure your bases are covered no matter what your birth plan may be.

Did you birth plan go as you wanted it to or were you in for a surprise too?

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When your Birth Plan falls Apart



A Letter to My Son

A Letter to My Son


I know you’re still so young but I have never met a little boy so full of life. I see your compassion, empathy and wit every day. It makes me proud to be your mom. Life hasn’t always been the easiest, but I know that because of you I will always have a best friend, supporter and fan. You, my son, are brilliant.  And you can make this life anything you want it to be. I have so many hopes and dreams for you. Here is some advice to always take with you. And If there is ever a time that I cannot be there, remember that I am always in your heart, as you are in mine. 


Not everything will always go your way. Life is going to have  its ups and downs. But life will only be sad and miserable if you let it be. It’s all about your attitude. No matter what happens, remember that all days, even the bad ones, are a blessing. Keep smiling and keep pushing forward. Concentrate on the good. If you master this, you will always find peace no matter what life decides to throw at you.

You are going to meet lots and lots of friends over the years. Make sure you hold onto your childhood friends the best you can. The kids you grow up with will always be the ones who know you the best. The ones who will always accept you for who you are and for who you will become. I’ve only held onto a handful myself, but they have become my family (yours too) and I couldn’t imagine my life without them. 

Kids can be mean and some day you may get bullied or picked on. Always remember this- kindness is the only way to combat hate. Never let someone bring you down to their level. Let go and rise above it. Always stay kind. I promise you that bullying happens to everyone. There is nothing wrong with you. Some day those people will regret the mean things they say and do. Forgive them once they realize this. It’s never good to hold a grudge.

Not all love is meant to last. Someday you will have your heart broken. You may feel like your world is ending. But I promise you it’s not. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, it simply is just not meant to be. And that’s okay. Soak in it only temporarily and then pick yourself up and keep going. There is a love out there for you that will help make your life everything you’ve always dreamed it would be. And they won’t break your heart.

If I have more children, please be nice to your siblings. I say this partly as a favor to keep me sane but trust me when I say that it’s also important. Your siblings will be the best friends you will ever have. Hold them close and cherish them. They will help you navigate life through the good and bad.

Stay active and take care of your body. You only get one. 

Remember to trust us as your parents. I know we won’t always see eye to eye. But I promise you that when we tell you something it’s because we love you. We worry about you a whole lot and only want the best for you. If you ever need us, we will be there. Even if you think we won’t understand, please trust me when I say that we will. We will always be on your side and will always fight for you.

Travel any time you have the opportunity to. This will help you build connections with all different types of people. Nothing you could ever buy will teach you more than seeing the world.

Listen to a lot of music. This will help you throughout your life, especially as a teenager. 

Spend a lot of time with your Grandparents. They love you and have a lot to teach you.

 I hate to tell you this son, but chivalry is not dead. You are becoming a man and as a man you have certain duties to uphold. I don’t care if a lady is 5 years old or if she’s 75, she’s a lady and I expect that you treat her as such. Believe me when I tell you that this alone will get you far. A woman will respect you and build you up when you treat her the right way. That can be a powerful thing.

Always stand up for yourself and for your beliefs. This is very important. Nobody is going to do this for you. If you believe strongly about something, say it. The only people who ever change the world are the people who are willing to stand up. This may mean standing up for someone else too. 

The world can be a dark place. But don’t let that consume you. Life is an amazing gift. Put as much good out into the world as you can and watch how it comes back to you. I promise it will.

No matter where this life takes you, always remember where you come from. 

College is important but it’s not everything. I would love to see you graduate from college, but i also know that your success doesn’t depend on it. I promise that as your mom, I will always support your decisions about this. My only wish is that you are happy and passionate about the work you do. 

Always work hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re getting paid $10 an hour or 30. Being a hard worker will open new doors for you. 

Someday when you have a family of your own remember that time is the most precious gift you can give them. Cherish each and every moment.

One last thing…

Never underestimate the power of a kind word, a hug or a smile. Above all things you do, this may very well be the most important. Every single day you have the opportunity to change someones life. Don’t forget that ability. 

You have already taught me so much. I am kinder, more patient and stronger because of you. I know that you are meant for big things and I am so proud to call you my son. I wish you all of the happiness and success in the world.

Love Always,



A Letter to My Son



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Goodbye Letter

rainbow baby, miscarriage, loss

*Thank you Jasmine from Jasmine & Littles for writing this guest post for Leggings ‘N’ Lattes. I know many women who have miscarried, some early in the pregnancy and some much later and overtime get pregnant again to have a rainbow baby.


goodbye letter


In two weeks exactly it is the due date of my baby, the baby that I lost this past June. With each passing day this month I have been thinking more and more about the baby that I lost. I am fortunate enough that I got pregnant again and am now carrying what is known as a rainbow baby. This does not mean that I have forgotten about the child that I carried for 8 weeks.

The night before I miscarried I picked up my journal, something I hadn’t done in months. I wrote the baby a letter. This letter reminds me of the spirit that was and will never be brought to life.  It is the only tangible item I have to remember this baby. I’d like to share it with you all.


Hello little baby!

I hope you are ok. You have been scaring me almost all week. Well not you, but the tiny tear in your placenta called a subchorionic hematoma. I wish we didn’t have to worry about this. I just want you to be healthy. Today you are 8 weeks old and he size of a kidney bean. I hope you are big enough to see on the ultrasound this week. You were too small on Tuesday.

Your big sister Audrey waved to you last week. She doesn’t understand yet that you are growing in my belly. She thinks my belly is full of food, which is true but you are in there too! You are going to be lucky to have a big sister. I know she will love playing peek-a-boo with you,

I can’t wait for you to get bigger and I can feel your kicks. Maybe you will get the hiccups like your big sister Audrey. I am hoping and praying you continue to grow. If you are anything like me then you are a fighter and strong and can overcome this battle and hold on. I will do my best to hold on too.

I love you soo much.  Stay strong!




Visit Jasmine to hear more about her pregnancy journey, miscarriage, mental health issues and stories of motherhood HERE. *

Follow Jasmine on Instagram @jasmineandlittles