Quiet Time, Poop, and Collage Layouts

motherhood, funny

Quiet Time, Poop, and Collage Layouts

The push from lunch to quiet time often feels like the last leg of a tough race or long training run. I just keeping talking myself through the next minute or next task…”ok, just need to keep them from killing each other for the next five minutes…” and “just a few more stairs to climb with this fighting, wiggling toddler under my arm…” and then the big sigh of relief as I cross the finish line…or close the bedroom door.  Click. Sigh.

Then it is my time.  My time to paint or do collage work. The minute I move into my studio space, I can feel the tension flow away and the trials of motherhood vanish.

One day, after a particularly difficult battle to quiet time, I prepared to start laying out collage backgrounds for two big commission pieces. These large pieces take quite a bit of time and concentration and I was excited to have two hours to myself to really get to work.  Oh, silly woman…you’re such a dreamer…..

Twenty minutes after putting Lucas in his room, he erupts in hysterical screams….I quickly and carefully put down the papers I was holding, hoping they wouldn’t shift in my haste, and go to my son’s room to discover he had poop all over his fingers.  Oh boy.  We really haven’t had many issues with poop in our household.  No wall paintings, only one failed attempt at self-changing, very few accidents.  We’ve been fortunate.  Ok, time to go back to mommy mode and get this hysterical child cleaned up and calmed down.  I did what needed done, plopped him on the potty to finish what he started and gave him a car to help him regain composure.  Poop on your fingers is pretty traumatizing.  I would be screaming hysterically too.

Twenty minutes later (he takes a ridiculous amount of time on the toilet), Lucas informs me he is done, so I start thinking to myself that I just might be able to salvage this quiet time and finish some of the work I started.  Huh.  I got Lucas cleaned up and as I was lifting him off the toilet, he drops his hot wheels car into the toilet.  Yep.  The poopy water toilet.  I’m not talking just a log.  It was diarrhea style poop.  At first, I contemplated just trying to flush the stupid thing, but quickly realized that would lead to further disaster.  Lucas is whimpering and whining about his car and I’m just about to lose my lunch as I go in after the car.   I’m actually getting a little queasy retelling this story.  Rescuing Lucas’s car was by far the most disgusting task I’ve ever had to do thus far.  I didn’t puke, but I certainly wasn’t feeling very creative anymore.  Forget collage layouts, forget quiet time…. Momma needs to breathe into a paper bag for a while and then use the rest of quiet time for a scathing hot shower.

Here’s to hoping that tomorrow’s quiet time includes a little more collage time and a little less poop.  Please, Lord.  Please.

-Amelia, Leggings ‘N’ Lattes guest contributor

funny motherhhood stories

More about our Guest Contributor, Amelia:

I grew up in rural, central Pennsylvania amidst pastoral scenes of farms, fields, and forests.  Nature has captured my attention for as long as I can remember.  Visual arts were also a dominant force in my life from an early age.  After graduating with a degree in visual art from Indiana Wesleyan University in 2003, I began to explore how I could use paint to express my love of the natural world.  

My background in printmaking and illustration has heavily influenced the direction of my work.  I work in a combination of paper collage, text and thin layers of acrylic paint. Using a selection of documents, vintage images, handwritten text, and symbols associated with the painted image, I remind the viewer that places and objects have many layers of meaning, memory, and beauty.

My work is displayed throughout the United States in traditional and non-traditional venues and my work can be found in private collections nationwide.  I call Loveland, Colorado home and live with my (amazing) husband and two sons (they are pretty great too).  

To learn more about me and my work, visit www.ameliafurman.com and follow me on Facebook and Instagram.


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  1. HAHAHAHAHA…. if this isn’t my life!!! I mean, we havent had a lot of problems with poop, but the whole concept that as soon as I am ready for a little time something “toddler” happens!!!

      1. Yep, just about. I will say that this makes us very, very good at multi-tasking and I hate to admit, it has forcibly taught me about perseverance and patience in a way I never could have learned otherwise. Motherhood to toddlers is the crucible where great character is shaped and pressed out of each and every one of us whether we like it or not.

    1. Glad you know the feeling….I’m always waiting for the “shoe to drop” when I decide I need to really focus on something and then when all goes well (which happens occasionally, but not often), I get so mad at myself for not enjoying the extra free time! oye!

  2. OMG!!!!! This was hilarious! I think I would’ve bleached my hand afterward. The things us moms go through!

  3. Aww man, so far I’ve made it through 3 kids with no poop accidents but my youngest isn’t quite pass the “safe” stage yet so I guess I shouldn’t count my chickens before they hatch!

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